It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
-C.S. Lewis, Weight of Glory

So, I haven't actually read Weight of Glory (although it is on our "library"). I came across this quote, or at least this reference, about two years ago while reading Revelations of a Single Woman by Connally Gilliam. As I am wandering about in this struggle to "do" something with my life, I wonder, what is the holiday at the sea that I am missing out on? How often do I neglect pursuing relationship with God in order to spend time on trivial matters, like television, internet surfing, etc (mud pies)?

I'm even refiguring what my desires are at this point in my life. What has God gifted me in so that I may be a blessing to others? What is the strong (or perhaps weak) desire of my soul?

I believe that my desire to know God is far too weak, so to begin/continue this journey I first must recognize that. And hopefully the more I recognize that, the more I'll spend time trying to change that.

Maybe I'm the trainwreck

According to Luke, I enjoy a good trainwreck. I guess, in some ways, this is true. Sometimes, I just can't help myself.

This is most true when I read articles on cnn.com and (formerly quite frequently and now only sporadically) on stltoday.com. I will read the article (or just parts of it, to get the main idea) and then scroll down to the "Comments" area. Never have I posted my own comment, but I always form what I would respond to the often ignorant people who post. I get so upset by what they have to say, as many come across as uneducated or just plain idiotic. My ire towards these anonymous commentors settles into my stomach and I slowly (internally) grow more enraged as the day progresses. Finally, I spill my ire to Luke and he says, "Why do you even read those. People are dumb." So the next day, I just don't tell him about my ire.